Sins of the flesh
by Midoridoll
Summary: short story, SPOILERS/GORE! after being emitted from the hospital Kaneki tried picking up his live again but failed. It is all to much, his friend his life, he can't take it anymore and finds himself in a dark place...how will he save himself? no, better question, will he ever be saved?...
1. Chapter 1: downfall

I do not own _Tokyo Ghoul_ or any of it's characters. Al rights to the makers and the companies that as involved.  
this story-line how ever, is something I created, please ask pro mission before usage.

**WARNING:** this is a SMUT/LEMON story. If you are Underaged, I have to ask you not to read any further.  
If you do, the consequences are for yourself. Possible Yaoi in future chapters! If you do not like these kinds of stories,  
I hope you will find a suitable one ^^

** please read en review**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

_"Ka-ne-ki, I know you want it There is no need to be upset...Dry your unnecessary tears now, boy."_

Blinded by those tears streaming down his face, Kaneki ran past shops and houses. His feet moved on the rhythm of his heartbeat.  
Faster and faster, hurting every joint and muscle, over stretching them as he jumped over fences and crisscrossed over the pavement.  
Pushing away the people who walked to slow, he left many cursing at him and some even tried to catch him,  
to give him a good beating, but he was to quick on his feet.

_"Kaneki, you're already tired, isn't this enough for today?"_

That voice...she never shuts up.

* * *

From the day that she had saved him with her blood and organs, he hate himself.  
Even though she had died, he could still feel her, see her silhouette, having her voice filling his brain with nonsense and awful thoughts.  
He tried to ignore her, tried not to listen to her words but as the days went by her voice became more clear.  
He could hear every rasp of her voice, every laughter and foul language she lashed out at him.  
The woman was pestering him about how he must eat.  
How exciting and delicious it is to feel that sensation in your mouth and taste the bittersweet meaning of their existence.  
How he would die if he did not consume something soon...

His hunger was driving him insane, at school, on the street even at home he could, smell them from fare away.  
He felt tortured by the rumbling and squeezing of his stomach. He knew when the neighbors came home and when they left.  
The worst moments were when they would returned from the gym or had sex. It made it all stronger and more difficult for him to hold back.  
It was penetrating his nose and mind. He dreamed about it, caught himself fantasizing and watching them closely.  
Being together with his best friend was a nightmare. He loved his friend dearly, no doubt, but the hunger made him turn in to  
a dark being, thinking about his friend in ways that made him drool uncontrollable.

Today they had gotten together at anteiku for a nice cup of coffee. He figured that coffee was the only thing that he could drink without gagging.  
They would sit and talk and laugh, but then his 'inner voice' started talking again.  
_"Don't you want to taste it? Don't you want to sink your teeth in to it? So tender, so juicy. He looks a bit skinny but he will do...  
or that woman at the other table? you are really missing every feast that passes by"  
_"**SHUT UP**!"  
He eyed him as the boys hands wildly moved up and down as he explained how he had gotten away  
from a woman he tried to hit on. After that day he ignored him, went to classes and stayed at home.  
Hideyoshi wasn't someone you could block easily, so it was hard for him to avoid him to ignore his talking.  
On a rainy morning, he saw Hideyoshi walk past him, he did not spoke a word to him, did not jump him or budged him.  
The only thing what was left to get ride of now, was that voice.

* * *

running down the next block, the streets had become more quiet, only a few people where strolling along the pavement.  
heavily breathing he ducked in to an ally and hide behind a dumpster. Terrified he made himself smaller to avoid being seen by a bypassing woman.  
her dog had picked up his scent and growled but she pulled on his leash, telling him to walk on.

The black sky, normally showered with bright stars, was blank except for the moon with its soft pale glow.  
As the morning had come and go, the rain had stayed and the wind play with the droplets as it swept them in all kinds of directions.  
It was late and most people had already dissembled themselves inside their warm houses or walked with a thick coat  
and an umbrella above their heads.  
His jeans had turned a dark blue, his shoes did held out the rain for a bit but the water socked his socks and so they had no use.  
The t-shirt he wore was ripped from the back and shreds hang loose around waist. His hair sticking to his face, just like his clothing on his body.  
Shaking and trembling he opened and closed his fingers as he watched the water sliding through the lines in his hands.  
Something had brought him here, he knew it because he had been following this sent for quit a wail.

The smell was strong and wonderful, it sharpened all his senses but blurred his vision of the world.  
It reminded him of his moms home cooked meals from when he was small. On rare occasions they would sit and eat together.  
He would sit as close as possible to her to feel her present as she smiled at him with a tired face.  
The stream of tears swelled and dribbled down his cheeks, he whipped his running nose with his wet sleeve.  
He missed his mother, he missed his best friend. But most of all, he missed the food. Al the comforts in life was taken away from him  
and he couldn't help but watch as he started to fall apart.  
Saliva dripped from his mouth as he looked at the dark figure in the corner, motionless and cold. As the hours passed,  
his legs had gotten weak from hunger and his stomach was like a brick in his body, a solid emptiness.  
The hunger made him stay and so did the voice inside his head again.

_"Kaneki-kun, can you smell it? That wonderful , delicious smell! Can you see it? The buffet right in front of you?  
The only thing you need to do is get over there. Take a bit. And let the flavour explode in your mouth! I promise you, no, I guaranty you...It is utter bliss"_

Crawling over to the rotten body, he sniffed ones, twice. Even thought it was a bit odd it reminded him of beef stew or oven baked Roosbief.  
His heart rate arose again. He could feel it pump through his veins, sending blood to the organs that were shrinking with the day he did not eat.  
This was the first time for him, seeing a dead man...  
It's rotten face staring at the wall. The rats had done themselves good on him. His hands were greenish black and he started to bloat a little  
making the already small vest look even more tighter. Kaneki reached out to the leg, but it started to move! Wiggle!  
quickly pulling back his hand he saw a rat crawling out if the man's trousers, running past him way back in to the ally.  
squeaking it called out to its friends but they all kept hidden away for the boy on his knees.

The rain still poured down on him. A broken mirror leaning against the wall reflected his image in shards back to him.  
It was vague but his eyes had dark circles and his face was as white as snow. But his eyes, the color of blood.  
He felt like that rat, small and dirty, looking for anything to eat. crawling along the street luring in the dark...  
"I- I can't, I CAN'T, I CAN'T! I CAAAAAANT!" Angrily slamming his fist on the hard stones, mud splashed in his eyes.  
It burned like hell and he blindly crawled to one of the rain filled tubes. Sitting on his knees, washing the dirt out with the water  
streaming from the rooftops.  
He fell over and buried his face in his hands, rocking like a baby in a foetus position, crying.

_"What is it that you wish for?"_

And there she was again, like a disease that strikes the moment the body is weak. Her arms wrapped around him,  
cradling him as a new-born _"What do you desire the most?", _she whispered the question in his ear as his sobs grew louder.  
He wanted to hit her, pull her of his back but all he grabbed was air. The woman, going by the name Rize Kamishiro, had clinched on to his body.  
She was there when he went to sleep and when he would wake up...  
She was everywhere and nowhere. He wanted her gone but unfortunately, she was bound to his body and his soul.  
Him and her are the same, yet so different at the same time.

_"I want to help you Kaneki-kun, but i cannot do that if you push me away. I know I'm nothing like your mother, but I can give you a certain love.  
So...stop being pathetic." _He stopped crying the instant she mentioned his mother

His mother was a proud and loving woman, who would do anything in her power to do good and help others.  
even if it ment her own downfall. And so, by overworking herself, she had called death up on herself. Leaving Kaneki all by himself.  
Kaneki knew this deep inside his heart, but he didn't dear to bad mouth her, not even in his own head.

_" Kaneki...I know you feel lonely...I know you want to go back in time, making everything as it was again.  
Eating that juicy hamburger you are craving for but you can't. Besides how you feel, it affects me too. It is a bothersome feeling wich i wish to forget.  
You might have my body parts but my soul you can not take. You can never return to that house, he will be waiting there for you.  
Who knows what you will do if you see that boy again? You have a responsibility to carry with you, not only for your friend but yourself too.  
*sign* Parentsless, homeless, friendless, I do pity you somehow...but it's your own fault for falling for my tricks.  
You need to eat, you need to follow your instinct or you will die...or do something you regret the most. I know you ignore me, but now my voice will be heard and you _**WILL**_ listen this time"_

She fell silent...  
She didn't try to change his mind, she didn't persuade him anymore to eat, no she 'commanded him' to eat.  
She was right, he knew that but he felt lost. Lost in a world he didn't understand. A world he NEVER wanted to understand in the first place.  
He despise it, hates it now that he had learned the true colors of being a Ghoul...the joy they feel in killing.

_"Can you smile for me ?..._"

She asked him, cupping his face gently in her hands making him look in to her eyes. The mud slighted of his cheek as the raindrops hit his skin.  
The black and red still scared him, he didn't want to admit to her, but his body was growing weaker with the day.  
untill his life was hanging on a single silver wire, ready to snap any moment now.

He tried to smile. His face forced in to a grin that looked insane. He could feel a warmth flowing from within.  
It was different from the cold he had felt for, it seems like, so long now.  
Like a warm blanket her embrace covered his body as she leaned in to him. Resting her own head on his shoulder holding the back of his head with  
her warm hand. He could smell her, feel her. He was tired, he wanted to sleep in and never wake up again.  
This was it. His last resort, she had taken it away from him. That little bit of hope and abstinence he had left vanished as the mist before the sun.  
His heart was giving out on him.  
He moved his head, "I am ready...", grinning behind his back, his teeth sank in to her 'flesh' and he drank her blood

_"You were always ready"_


	2. Chapter 2: The stripper

I still do not own the original characters of _Tokyo Ghoul_, All rights to the company that owns it and are involved with Tokyo ghoul.  
I do own part of the story line as it is not cannon with the serie

No worries, no Yaoi to find in this chapter :P but **WARNING**: explicit violence and language!

* * *

As he hovered above the body, he looked down on the man. He recognized him, he was the homeless man who always wondered around the park.  
A filthy drunk, that wouldn't shy away from drugs. He was a nothing, and died a nothing, laying in his own piss and shit.  
"The only moment you are useful is when you are dead" His lips muttered the words but it was not him saying it.  
His face pulled in a grimace and his arms moved to picked up the leg, moving the body to a slightly different spot.  
He struggled as he turning the man around, feeling something prickled his hand. He picked it up, the needle had bent on his skin.  
"pathetic, who needs this crap of you can kill someone. Les dangerous for your health." throwing it against the wall the glass splintered.  
He started taken off all the clothing, leaving a naked and stiff body in the rain. The skin on the arms were black and blue from the shots he had taken.  
The man was covered in bruises. Like he had taken a beating not so long ago. His eyes wandered from his face to his chest, big swollen...  
He didn't feel like seeing it's genitals, so he flipped the man over, face down.

With a sharp fingernail he tore the skin on the back. A big drop of blood leaked out the body and the rain diluted it, washing it down in to the ground.  
His thirst was growing with the second as he looked at the blood flowing and so was his hunger.  
He felt his mind slip in to a state in which he couldn't control himself anymore. He's hand reached out for the right arm but right before he touched it he still hesitated.  
Is this really what he wanted...?. The metallic smell got to his nose, his head moved to the wound, it was not his doing but he didn't resist.

Kaneki's eyes rolled in to the back of his head as the clotted blood filled his mouth and slipped down his throat.  
Like an extra thick ice-cold iron milkshake he drank it down.  
That little bit of 'Kaneki' that was left didn't want to let go yet. But the flavour of that already dead human stroke his taste buds.  
Drooling, licking his lips, there was no going back now that he knew what delicate flavour the human body beholds.  
He knew what this man had done to his body, ruined it untill the core, like his soul. But that didn't matter he wanted to eat, and he want it now.  
The comfortable feeling of food had returned to him. A tear came to his eyes again, thinking about the good days.

He wanted it back, all of it and so he took a bite out of the homeless man's inner thighs and ripped it from the bone.  
An echo of tearing muscles and flesh bounced of the walls. It must have gotten late, for there was no soul who could catch him in the act.  
He shuddered and arched his back as he went for another mouthful. It took him some time but only one leg did not silence his hunger.  
He sucked up the rotten meat from the fingers like chicken bones. He bit down and broke A joint. He swallowed the fingertip whole and went on with his eating.  
By the last finger he felt his stomach steer and he cough up the bone of the fingertip. Spitting it out it flew in to a mud pool and disappeared under the rain.  
_"Please eat till your heart's content, but do not eat the bones. It will make you sick if you do"__  
_Smiling sickly sweet she patted his head as he ravished the corpse. She was proud of him, not only did he made her a part of his life.  
He had given back to her what was hers in the first place. The joy of eating.  
She promised herself, she was going to make him famous...

He could hear a cock-crow in the distance. The sun was about to get up so he had to take his leave. He licked his fingers  
one by one, taking all the bits of blood and organs that was left on his skin.  
He had to give it to her, it was sensationally good. It was odd in the beginning, nothing like the stew he smelled.  
But it was like heaven on earth to him. If Rise hadn't pushed him he would have kept sulking in his own tears and died.  
But now he was here, enjoying the best meal he had in years and not a care in the world anymore.  
Licking his lips he had enough. He was stuffed and wanted to go home.  
The odour of rotten flesh still hang around the ally but Kaneki didn't pay attention to it. his hunger was silenced and his urges were gone.  
His clothing full of blood and filth, he got up from sitting on his knees and wobbled to the end of the still dark ally.  
He clamped his hands around the edge of the brick wall and leaned against it with tired eyes. Stretching his legs they felt ridig just like the mans body felt.

They rain had stopped an hour or so ago.  
He could see the sun rise from behind the houses, if he didn't move quick someone would catch him 'red handed' and that would be bothersome.  
A piece of clothing was sticking out the dumpster. He opened the lit and found a sweater. It had some stains on it but  
that was nothing compared to the bloodstains on his shirt. He got out of the shirt and put the sweater over his head.  
He had forgotten about the cold, he had become numb as the rain kept splashing on his skin. It was dry now but the wind was still in an icy mood.  
The sweater warmed him up and he hugged himself. As he walked towards the streets again he looked over his shoulder  
to the place were the corps ones had laid.  
"Thank you..."

* * *

Was this a sick joke?  
The woman with her little dog were taking out the trash as she smoked a cigarette.  
She saw a pill old clothing laying on top of something that looked like white bones. The dog was going crazy on the leash, barking and pulling.  
She got almost knocked over as the dog twisted the leash around her legs and pulled as hard as he could.  
"Stop it you stupid fluff ball!"  
"What's with the noise!?" A man looked down his window and had a slipper ready to throw down.  
Seeing his wife standing with the trash bags still in her hand he asked her,"What's the matter hun? To heavy to get in the container?"

"No, that's not it...I think we need to call the cops...There is something suspicious about the pill of clothing over there.  
Look at Toeti! He's about to break the leash if he keeps on doing this...this is not normal. call the cops Hiro please I don't trust it..."  
"Fine as you wish sweetheart. Just throw away the trash and get in before someone sees you in that outfit!"  
Wearing her pink bathrobe she looked like a cheap hooker.  
"Ok, just a sec."  
Something moved under the jacket. She slowly walked towards it but the dog got the better of her, pulled himself out of her hands  
and ran after the rat that was hiding under the cloth. As the dog barked and ran passed it the cloth moved and a big white skull with hollow sockets revealed itself.  
Screaming out her longs her husband called the cops. It didn't take long for the investigators to arrive.

"Hmmmm, interesting!" Kureo Mado bended over to take a closer looked at the bone structure of the "_victim_" in front of them.  
"Very interesting indeed...Amon-kun! will you take a look at this. Please explain everything you see, in detail of course."  
He stepped aside to make way for his younger colleague and parter. The man called Koutarou Amon kneeled besides the skeleton.  
"This is a Ghouls work, no doubt...Damn monsters." He looked at the skull and teeth inside the open mouth. "He was an addict,  
you can clearly see the damage. Drug and alcohol. The bastard must have given him an overdose, I don't see any trauma or other  
cause of injuries on the bones. There is one thing I don't get...we have never seen this before did we?"

"No Amon, we did not...I find this particularly interesting, but go one, tell me what you see."

"The bones, they are totally picked clean till the smallest bone and most difficult to reach joint. It was really hungry I guess...  
Why didn't he just ate the bones with it? Fucking Ghouls can't even leave alone a poor man like this one! a  
And for-fuck-sake, what's with the hands? Why?" He started to get pissed off at the Ghoul, more than usually would be.  
Both his hands were stuck up his pelvis, both flipping off to the investigators.  
"It's like the creature wanted us to find him like this."

Mister Mado snickered, "It seems like we have a joker to add to our list of wanted ghouls...to bad we already have that name used..."  
He stood besides Amon, He was fairly smaller than the young vital man, but he had eyes like a hawk.  
"Funny or not...you did miss something important Amon-kun. You should pay a little more attention to the hands. What did you learned about Ghouls  
and their eating habits at the academie? Ghouls can not digest bone, so they leave it behind. Only young ghouls, around their 3th year, would try  
to eat the bones, chewing on them." His eyes moved to look at Amon who was rubbing his chin and thinking things over.

"He's missing a fingertip! It must be around here somewhere...You," He pointed out to a forensic, "look of the finger and bring it here."  
He grabbed a clove and puts it on, taking out the hand with the missing tip. He turned it to take a better look.  
" You can see shewing signs...but the amount of meat that has eaten, " He laid down the hand again and took the fingertip that was found  
in the mudpuddle, " This does not match the amount of food for a 3-year-old does it?" He looked over to Mado-sama.  
He confirmed the conclusion with a nod, " This is nothing like other ghouls..."**_The Stripper _**" did a good job on this one...  
I would really like to get to know this one. " His grin widened. " A sly fox like him should have a nice Kagune.

* * *

The door slammed shut and Kaneki walked straight from the door in to the bedroom and crawled in bed.  
He rolled on his back and looked at the ceiling.  
He never thought to see this room again, to feel satisfied and not thinking about eating all the time. Closing his eyes he saw Rise's face.  
She was happy and she kissed his cheek.  
Falling in to a dreamless sleep he knew things will be different in the morning.

forever...


End file.
